《美丽英文:上帝的笑》

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美丽英文:上帝的笑- 第13部分


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  Time passed and the actor kept taunting the lion。 The crowds grew larger; and his salary kept increasing。
  However; one day the actor slipped and fell right into the lion’s cage。 He was terrified。 The lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce。 The actor began to scream and yell。 “Help me! Help me!” he cried。
  The lion pounced on him and knocked him to the ground。 The actor looked up at the angry lion and the lion said “Shut up; you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”
  

聪明人生 第二章(1)
真正的勇气
  在一艘船的甲板上,有一位美国将军、一位俄罗斯将军和一位英国将军,正在一起观看军事演习。他们的话题转移到人的勇气上, 这时俄罗斯将军炫耀道:“俄罗斯的士兵是世界上最勇敢的!”
  对此,美国将军反问道:“哦?真的吗?”
  俄罗斯将军说:“当然,看着。尤芮,从甲板上跳下去绕着船游一圈。”(下面就是冰冷的大西洋)尤芮二话没说就执行了命令。俄罗斯将军转过头说:“看见了吗?这就是勇气的典范。”美国将军不服输,便叫来他的一个部下,命令道:“杰克,从桅杆上跳下去,然后绕着船游七圈。”可怜的杰克一声没吭地服从了命令。然后,美国将军说:“这才叫勇气。”
  接着他们的目光都转向了一直站在旁边沉默不语的英国将军,然后他们问他:“你们的人如何?”
  英国将军叫来了一个人说:“特雷弗,从桅杆上跳下去,然后从船底下游过去,听见了吗,老家伙?”
  特雷弗双眼瞪着他的将军。
  “你的意思是说让我从桅杆上跳下去。”
  “是的。”
  “然后从船底下游过去。”
  “是的。”
  “你一定是发疯了!”
  说着,特雷弗转过身,悠闲地离开了。于是,英国将军转过来对那两个人说:“瞧,这才叫真正的勇气呢!”
  True Courage
  An American General; a Russian General and a British General are standing on the deck of a ship watching war exercises。 The topic of discussion turns to human courage; and the Russian General boasts;“Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!”
  Upon which the American challenges him:“Oh YEAH?”
  The Russian says;“Sure! Here; Yuri! Jump off the deck (into the freezing Atlantic) and swim around the ship!”
  Yuri marches off without a word; and does as he is told。 The Russian turns around and says:“See; there’s an example of courage!”
  The American has to top this; so he calls up one of his underlings and gives him the order:“Jack; Jump off the main mast into the ocean;and swim around the ship seven times!”
  Poor Jack goes off without a murmur; and he too does as he is told。 The American General says:“Now top that for courage!”
  So they both turn around to the British General who has been standing around watching these antics silently。 They ask him:“What about your people?”
  So the British guy calls up one of his people and says:“Trevor; jump off the mast and swim under the keel of the ship; will you; old chap?”
  Trevor stares at his general。
  “Let me get this right。 You want me to jump off the mast。”
  “Yes。”
  “And swim under the keel。”
  “Yes。”
  “You must be daft!”
  And so saying; Trevor turns around and saunters off。 Whereupon the British  General turns to the other two and says; “Now there’s an example of TRUE courage!”
  第一个男朋友
  从前有一个名叫珍妮的小女孩,她家住在农场。珍妮喜欢和农场里的小动物一起玩耍,她的父母喂养了母牛、小鸡和小猪。珍妮还有一个名叫杰森的哥哥,她也喜欢和杰森一起玩。可是杰森比她大好几岁,他还是喜欢与自己的朋友一起玩。因为杰森的年龄已经够大了,可以骑自行车,也能够骑车离开农场了。
  杰森可以骑着自行车到附近的农场,和与他同龄的男孩一起玩。

聪明人生 第二章(2)
珍妮迫不及待地想要长大,那样她就可以去上学了。她明白只要可以每天乘校车到城里去上学,她就可以和其他女孩成为朋友。当珍妮5岁的时候,她终于可以去上学了,可是她却没有交到朋友。表面看来,她和其他同龄的小女孩没有什么共同之处。幸运的是,珍妮有一个充满爱的家庭。她的父母每天晚上都会在睡觉前替她盖上被子,接着各自给她一个吻。
  他们保证她很快就会找到和校车上其他女孩的共同点。
  一天,珍妮放学回到家,非但没有忧郁,而且还是欢蹦乱跳的。于是父母便问她发生了什么事情,珍妮向他们解释说,她已经找到与校车上其他女孩的共同之处了,她终于开始和她们成为朋友了。
  “珍妮,你和那些女孩有什么共同之处呢?”父亲问道。“我有一个男朋友。”珍妮说,她的父亲非常感兴趣,“珍妮,你知不知道什么是男朋友呀?”她的母亲问道。
  “我听其他女孩说,她们盼望能长大一点,那样的话,她们就可以交男朋友了。因此我就去问老师史密斯太太,什么是男朋友。她告诉我男朋友就是吻你的男生。所以在回家的路上,我告诉那些校车上的女孩,我已经有男朋友了。现在,他们都很羡慕我,并且想要和我做朋友。”现在,珍妮的父母有些担心了。“是哪个男生吻你了?你的男朋友是谁呀?”珍妮的母亲问道。“有什么问题吗?就是爸爸呀。”珍妮说,“他每晚都会吻我,跟我说晚安,因此他就是我的男朋友。仔细想想,妈妈每晚也会吻我,跟我说晚安,因此我认为你是我的女朋友。我要和校车上的女孩说,我也有一个男朋友和一个女朋友啦!”
  First Boyfriend
  Once upon a time; there was a little girl named Jenny。 Jenny and her family lived on a farm。 Jenny liked to play with the animals on the farm。 Her parents raised cows; chickens and pigs。 Jenny also had a brother and his name was Jason。 She liked to play with Jason also; but he was much older than her。 He preferred to play with his friends。 Since Jason was old enough to ride a bike; he was old enough to leave the farm yard。
  Jason would bike over to the neighboring farms and play with other boys who were his age。
  Jenny couldn’t wait until she was old enough to go to school。 She knew that she would find other girls to be friends with once she could get on the bus to go into the city for school each day。 When Jenny turned five years old; she started going to school。 She was having difficulties making friends though。 It seemed she didn’t have anything in mon with the other little girls her age。 Fortunately; Jenny came from a loving family。 Her mother and father would tuck her in each night at bedtime and each of them would give her a kiss。
  They promised her that she would soon find something that she had in mon with the other girls on the bus。
  One day; Jenny came home from school。 Instead of being melancholy; she was happy and excited。 Her parents asked her about it。 Jenny explained to them that she had found something that she had in mon with the other girls on the bus。 She was finally starting to make friends with them。
  “What do you have in mon with the other girls; Jenny?” her dad asked。 “I have a boyfriend;” Jenny said。 Her parents were concerned。 “Do you know what a boyfriend is; Jenny?” her mom asked。书包 网 。 想看书来

聪明人生 第二章(3)
“I heard the other girls talking about wanting to be older so they could have boyfriends。 I asked my teacher Mrs。 Smith what a boyfriend was。 She said it’s a boy who kisses you。 So I told the girls on the bus on the way home that I had a boyfriend already。 Now they all are jealous of me and want to be my friend。” Now Jenny’s parents were worried。 “What boy is kissing you? Who is this boyfriend of yours?” Jenny’s mom asked her。 “Why; it’s Daddy;” Jenny said。 “He kisses me goodnight。 That makes him my boyfriend;” she said。 “e to think of it; Mommy kisses me goodnight; too; so I guess that makes you my girlfriend。 Wait until the girls on the bus hear I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend; too!”
  他懂了
  两个美国人在西班牙旅游。一天上午,他们走进一家小餐馆吃午饭。他们不会说西班牙语,侍
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