n repeated the question in an even sterner tone；“Where is God！！？” Again the boy made no attempt to answer。 So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed； “Where is god？”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room； ran directly home and dove into his closet； slamming the door behind him。 When his older brother found him in the closet； he asked； “What happened？”
The younger brother； gasping for breath； replied； “We are in Big trouble this time。 God is missing—and they think we did it！”
婚 礼
琼斯夫人和她的小女儿卡伦在教堂外面凑热闹，因为教堂里正在举行一场婚礼。照完像，大家都开车去参加婚礼宴会了，所有激动人心的事情也结束了。就在这个时候，卡伦问她的妈妈：“妈妈，为什么新娘变主意了？”
“变主意了？你指的是什么？”琼斯夫人问道。
“嗯，”小女孩说，“她和一个男人走进了教堂，可是出来的时候却是和另外一个男人！”
Wedding
Mrs。 Jones and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the ing and goings of a wedding。 After the photographs had been taken； everyone had driven off to the reception and all the excitement was over。 Karen said to her mother； “Why did the bride change her mind； Mummy？”
“What do you mean； change her mind？” asked Mrs。 Jones。
“Well；” said the moppet； “She went into the church with one man and came out with another！”
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聪明人生 第七章（1）
马克·吐温和理发师
有一次，马克·吐温到一个小镇上作演讲。他想在晚饭前先去理发店刮刮胡子。
“你是外地人吧？”理发师问。
“是的，”马克·吐温回答，“我是第一次来这里。”
“你来得正巧，”理发师继续说，“今晚有马克·吐温的演讲，我想你会去的，是吗？”
“噢，我也是这样想的。”
“你买到票了吗？”
“还没有。”
“票全都卖光了，你只能站着了。”
“真讨厌！”马克·吐温叹气着说，“真倒霉，每次那个家伙演讲时我都不得不站着。”
Mark Twain and the Barber
In the course of one of his lecture trips； Mark Twain arrived at a small town。 Before dinner he went to a barber shop to be shaved。
“Are you a stranger？” asked the barber。
“Yes，” Mark Twain replied。 “This is the first time I’ve been here。”
“You chose a good time to e；” the barber continued。 “Mark Twain is going to read a lecture tonight。 You’ll go； I suppose？”
“Oh； I guess so。”
“Have you bought your ticket？”
“Not yet。”
“But everything is sold out。 You’ll have to stand。”
“How very annoying！” Mark Twain said with a sigh。 “I never saw such luck； I always have to stand when that fellow lectures。”
在电话中交谈
每个星期天，牧师都会在教堂前面召集一群孩子，给他们讲一个故事。有一次，为了更好地解释祈祷的意义，他带来了一部电话机。
“你们和电话里的人说话，却并没有看到电话那端的人，对不对呀？”他开始说道。孩子们点头表示同意。“其实，和上帝交谈就好像通过电话交谈一样。他就在另一端，尽管你看不到他，他却在倾听你的心声。”
就在这个时候，一个小男孩尖声问道：“他的电话号码是多少？”
Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story。 Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer。
“You talk to people on the telephone and don’t see them on the other end of the line； right？” he began。 The children nodded yes。 “Well； talking to God is like talking on the telephone。 He’s on the other end； but you can’t see him。 He is listening though。”
Just then a little boy piped up and asked； “What’s his number？”
麻烦的孩子
巴兹尔问父亲：“爸爸，我能不能出去玩呀？”
“不行，外面现在正在下雨呢，你出去会感冒的。”他的父亲答道。
“但是，爸爸，我想出去淋雨。”
父亲急忙说：“这是我给你买的一本书，现在，你坐下来好好地看书吧。”
巴兹尔十分听话地拿着书，然而刚刚看完一句话，他就又开口问了起来：“爸爸，书里面说：从一个人结交的朋友就可以看出这个人的为人，真是这样的吗？ 那么，假如一个好人和一个坏人接触，这个好人是否因为坏人也变成了坏人呢？或者因为坏人结交了好人，从而就变成好人了呢？或者他们两个人都变了，好人变成了坏人，坏人反而变成了好人？另外，假如……”
“巴兹尔，”父亲说，“你现在可以出去淋雨了。”
A Troublesome Child
“Daddy； may I go out？” Asked Basil。
“No； it’s raining；” answered daddy。 “You would catch cold。”
“But daddy； I want to go out in the rain。”
“Here is a book I’ve bought you；” replied the worried father hastily。 “Now sit still and read it。”
聪明人生 第七章（2）
Basil took the book obediently。 But after the first sentence he asked again：“Daddy；it says here： a man is known by the pany he keeps。 Is that true？ Because if a good man keeps pany with a bad man； is the good man bad because he keeps pany with the bad man； or is the bad man good because he keeps pany with the good man； or do they each change； and if the。。。”
“Basil；” said his father； “you may go out in the rain。”
广告
一只漂亮的纯种狗迷路后，来到我们的后门廊，并以此为家了。我的丈夫在当地的“失物招领”上，酝酿了一则广告，这样写道：“小狗，雄性，年龄近9个月，无项圈，很友善，在石桥路发现的。”
我害怕这样的细节会给那些昧着良心要狗的人以可乘之机。我有条不紊地解释为什么每个线索都透露得太多，我的丈夫就尽职地划去一些词。终于，出于为难，他重新写了广告，把它缩减为一个我无法反驳的句子。
他这样写道：“猜猜我发现了什么？”
An Adversity
After a beautiful purebred puppy wandered onto our back porch and made himself at home； my husband posed an ad for the“Lost and found” column of the local newspaper。 It read：“A puppy； male； approximately nine months old； no collar； very friendly； found on Rockbridge Road。”
“I feared all the detail might encourage an unscrupulous person to chaim the dog。 As I methodically explained why each clue revealed too much； my husband dutifully crossed out the words。 Finally； in frustration； he rewrote the ad； reducing it to a single sentence that I couldn’t refute。”
It read： “Guess what I found？”
是谁害怕？
一个邻居曾跟我们讲过一次他和他两岁半的儿子旅行的事。那是他们父子俩第一次单独出门。
在旅馆的第一个晚上，父亲先是将自己的床移近儿子的床，掖好被子后，他就关了灯。几分钟之后，儿子轻轻地说：“屋子里真够黑的，是不是？”“是的，”父亲说，“屋里确实挺黑的，不过一切正常。”又过了一会儿，一只小手伸过来握住父亲的手，“我握住你的手，”小男孩说，“以防你害怕。”
Who’s Afraid Now？
A neighbor told us about a trip he took with his two…and…a…half…year…old son。 It was the first time the father and the boy had been away by themselves。
The first night they spent in a hotel； the father moved his bed close to the boy’s and when they were both tucked in； he turned out the light。 After a few minutes； a little voice said； “It sure is dark； isn’t it？” “Yes；” said the father； “it’s pretty dark； but everything is all right。” There was silence for a few more minutes； and then a small hand reached over and took the father’s hand； “I’ll just hold your hand；” said the little boy； “in case you get frightened。”
谁是乔治·华盛顿
有一位老师向一个学生提出了很多问题，可那个学生一个也不会。老师为了让他答对几道，便打算问他一些非常容易的问题。
老师问道：“班克·希尔是什么？”
这位学生想了半天，然后回答：“一个飞机场？”
老师说：“不对！ �