“好吧，”零售商说：“我去牲口棚睡吧。”说完，转身便去了。
没过多久，又有敲门的声音，零售商抱怨道：“我曾经可以忍受食物腐烂的气味， 可是牲口棚的气味我实在是忍受不了。”
“两个没用的家伙。”政客说，“我去吧。”
半个小时后，又传来一阵敲门声。他们打开房门，发现站在门口的居然是牲口棚里的所有牲口。
Who Tops Them All
A grocer； a banker and a politician got lost in the forest。 Eventually they came to a farmer’s house and asked if he could put them up overnight。
花样年华 第二章（2）
“Sure；” the farmer said； “but I’ve got room for only two of you in the house。 The other will have to sleep in the barn with the animals； and the smell is very bad out there。 ”
“I’ll sleep in the barn。” the banker volunteered。
Half an hour later a knock was heard on the farmer’s houses door； and there stood the banker； gasping； “I can’t take the smell。”
“All right。” said the grocer。 “I’ll sleep in the barn。” And off he went。
In a while there was another knock on the door。 “I’ve put up with some rank odors from spoiled food；” the grocer plained； “but that barn tops them all。”
“You two sissies。”said the politician “I’ll sleep in the barn。”
Thirty minutes later came another knock。 When they opened the door； there stood all the animals from the barn。
幸运的顾客
最近有家新开张的超市，所有前往光顾的主妇都怀揣着一个美好的愿望——幸运地成为一个购物不用交钱的顾客。这是商店入口处的启事上所承诺的。启事上写着：“请记住，每个星期都有一位可以免费购物的顾客。也许，今天就是您的幸运日！” 几个星期以来，正如自己的许多朋友一样，爱德华太太一直盼望着自己会成为那位幸运的顾客。跟朋友们不同，她一直没有放弃这一期望。家里厨房的碗柜中都塞满了并不实用的东西。她的丈夫建议她不要乱买东西，然而收效甚微。她一直梦想着有一天超市的经理走到她的面前，对她说：“夫人，今天是您的幸运日，您篮子里的所有东西都是免费的。”
一个周五的早晨，她采购完并把东西放进车里后，才想起自己忘了买茶叶。她急匆匆地回到超市，取了茶叶后向收银处走去。正在此时，她看到商店的经理走了过来。“夫人，”他一边说着一边伸出手来，“我要恭喜您！您是我们的幸运顾客，您篮子里的所有东西都是免费的。”
A Lucky Customer
All the housewives who went to the new supermarket had one great ambition： to be the lucky customer who did not have to pay for her shopping。 For this was what the notice just inside the entrance promised。 It sai： “remember； once a week； one of our customers gets free goods。 This may be your lucky day！”
For several weeks Mrs。 Edwards hoped； like many of her friends； to be the lucky customer。 Unlike her friends； she never gave up hope。 The cupboards in her kitchen were full of things； which she did not need。 Her husband tried to advise her against buying things but failed。 She dreamed of the day when the manager of the supermarket would approach her and say； “Madam； this is your lucky day。 Everything in your basket is free。”
On Friday morning； after she had finished her shopping and taken it to her car； she found that she had forgotten to buy any tea。 She dashed back to the supermarket； got the tea and went towards the cash desk。 As she did so； she saw the manager of the supermarket approach her。 “Madam；” he said； holding out his hand；“I want to congratulate you！ You are our lucky customer and everything you have in your basket is free！”
花样年华 第二章（3）
得不到回报的祈祷
在我们修道院附近的超市，我急急忙忙地装了满满一推车的东西。突然之间，我有了一种不安的感觉：我带的钱可能不足以支付所有的商品。绝望之下，我把所有的东西都摆在地板上，跪下来开始把所有东西的价格加在一起。
正在此时，一个年轻的超市管理员走了过来。他弯下腰，对我耳语道：“修女，无论你怎么费劲祈祷，我们现在都不会降价。”
Unanswered Prayers
At the supermarket near our convent I had filled my cart in a hurry and suddenly had an uneasy feeling that I didn’t have enough money to pay for all the goods。 In desperation I emptied all the items onto the floor and kneeing down； began to add up the prices。
Just then a young supervisor strolled over； bent down and whispered confidentially； “It doesn’t matter how hard you pray； sister。 We’re not reducing the prices。”
十二张卡片
我十多岁的女儿在她的祖父母家度过了几周的暑假生活。临回家时，祖父给了她12张卡片。
“记得每个月都给我们写封信。”他说。
几个月过去了，卡片一直原封未动——直到有一天，女儿收到这样一封信：
“亲爱的詹妮芙：
生活是由不同的阶段组成的。
还是个孩子的时候，我希望成为一个青少年——我如愿以偿了。
还是个年轻人时，我希望遇到一个年轻的女子，恋爱、结婚——我如愿以偿了。
结婚后，我希望成为一位父亲——我如愿以偿了。
作为父亲，我希望成为一位祖父，有漂亮、聪明的孙子孙女——我如愿以偿了。
接着，我希望有一天他们能给我写信——我却还没有如愿以偿。
爱你的祖父”
12 Post Cards
My teen…age daughter was preparing to return home after having visited her grandparents for a few weeks one summer。 Her grandfather gave her 12 post cards。
“Here； write us a few lines every month；” he said。
Months passed and the cards remained unused—that is until the day this letter arrived：
“Dear Jennifer；
Life is a series of stages。
As a child； I looked forward to being a teenager—that happened。
As a teenager； I looked forward to being a young man—that happened。
As a young man； I looked forward to meeting a young woman； falling in love and being a married man—that happened。
As a married man； I looked forward to being a father—that happened。
As a father； I looked forward to being a grandfather to beautiful； intelligent grandchildren—that happened。
Then I looked forward to the day they would learn to write—that hasn’t happened yet。
Yours Sincenely”
她是我的妻子
一位客人转向他旁边的男士，想评论一下一位女士的歌喉，这位女士正在试图取悦客人们。
“多么糟糕的嗓音啊！你知不知道这位女士是谁？”
“知道。”他答道，“她是我的妻子。”
“哦，非常抱歉。当然，事实上我指的并非是她的嗓音，而是她所唱的内容。我想弄明白如此糟糕的歌词是谁写的？”
“我写的。”他回答说。
She’s My Wife
One of the guests turned to a man by his side to criticize the singing of the woman who was trying to entertain them。
“What a terrible voice！ Do you know who she is？”
“Yes；” was the answer。 “She’s my wife。”书 包 网 txt小说上传分享
花样年华 第二章（4）
“Oh； I beg your pardon。 Of course； it isn’t her voice； really。 It’s the stuff she has to sing。 I wonder who wrote that awful song。”
“I did；” was the answer。
柯南·道尔与女士
一次，一位女士写了一部长篇小说寄给了著名的编辑柯南·道尔。几个星期之后，小说被退了回来。女士很生气，给柯南·道尔写了一封信：
“亲爱的先生：
昨天，你把我的小说退了回来。你怎么知道我的小说不够优秀？你根本就没有读。在寄给你之前，我将18、19、20页粘在了一起，是想检验你是不是真的读了，然而寄回来的稿子还是粘在一起。这就是你阅读所有寄给你的稿子的方式吗？”
柯南·道尔回信道：
“亲爱的夫人：
吃早饭的时候，我剥开一个鸡蛋，为了知道鸡蛋好坏与否，我不用把其他所有的鸡蛋都吃了吧！”
Conan Doyle and the Lady
A lady once wrote a long story and sent it to a famous editor Conan Doyle。 After a few weeks the story was returned to her。 The lady was angry。 She wrote to the editor。
“Dear s