to the editor。
“Dear sir；
“Yesterday you sent back a story of mine。 How do you know that the story is not good？ You did not read it。 Before I sent it to you； I pasted together page 18； 19； and 20。 This was a test to see whether you would really read the story。 When it came back yesterday； the pages were still pasted together。 Is this the way you read all the stories that are sent to you？”
Conan Doyle wrote back：
“Dear madam；
“At breakfast when I open an egg； I don’t have to eat all the eggs in order to see whether it is bad or not。”
心不在焉的教授
三个教授在站台上等火车。他们正在全神贯注地谈话。火车进站了，可是他们都没有注意到。这个时候，列车员喊道：“请上车了！”
教授们听到后飞快地向火车跑去。其中的两个刚登上去，火车就开了。最后一个名叫埃哈德的教授没有赶上火车，看起来非常焦虑。
教授的一个学生也在车站等车，他尽力安慰着教授：“先生，这还不是很糟，你们中有两个人已经赶上了火车。要知道，这已经很好了。”“我明白，”教授说，“但是要赶火车的是我，他们只是来为我送行的。”
Absent…minded Professor
There were three professors at the railway station。 They were deep in conversation。 The train had just arrived； but they did not notice it。 Then the guard shouted； “Take your seats； please！”
The professors heard the guard and rushed for the train。 Two of them got on the train before it moved。 The third one was left behind。 It was Professor Egghead。 He looked worried。
One of the professor’s students was at the station。 He tried to fort the professor。 “It wasn’t really bad； sir；” said the student。 “Two out of three caught the train。 That’s quite good； you know。” “I know；” the professor said。 “But it was my train。 My friends only came to say goodbye。”
。。
花样年华 第三章（1）
您可以下来了
我的一个朋友在游船上工作。由于潮水当时涨得很高，船停靠在墨西哥的一个港口，游客们不得不踩着一条很窄的跳板才能上岸。
当一位七十多岁的老妇人站在跳板的顶端时，船上所有的工作人员都吓呆了。 跳板太窄，根本没有搀扶老人的空间。因此，老妇人只好慢慢地侧着身子往下走，最终当她安全抵达码头后，大家悬着的心才放了下来。下来后，老妇人转过身，冲着跳板的另一端喊道：“没事的，妈妈，您现在可以下来了。”
You Can e Down
The cruise ship my friend was working on socked at a Mexican port during a very high tide。 Everyone on board was forced to use the ship’s narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below。
The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70’s appeared at the top of the plank。 There wasn’t room for anyone to assist her； so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely； to everyone’s relief。 As she stepped down； she turned； looked back at the top of the plank and shouted； “it’s okay； mother； you can e down now。”
银行家和画家
一位很富有的巴黎银行家恳求一位著名的画家为自己画一张小画。
画家画完之后，向他收取一百万法郎的报酬。
“为什么？你仅用了5分钟的时间。”银行家说。
“是的，”画家回答，“可是我用了30年的时间才学到这5分钟里所做的事。”
The Banker and the Artist
A rich Paris banker begged a well…known artist to do a little thing for his album。 The artist did the little thing and asked a million francs。
“Why； it only took you five minutes to do it；” said the banker。
“Yes；” replied the artist； “but it took me thirty years to learn how to do it in five minutes。”
蜜月新人
有一对正在华盛顿度蜜月的新婚夫妇， 他们来到水门旅馆登记住宿。到了晚上，丈夫刚要熄灯，新娘子问道：“你觉得房间里会不会装有窃听器？”
“亲爱的，那都是多少年前的事了。”丈夫劝她打消这种念头。
“然而假如真的藏着传声器，那该怎么办呢？叫人多难堪啊！”
因此，新郎搜查了一圈，从桌子底下和挂画后面的墙壁。最后，他翻开了地毯。不出所料，地板上有个外表奇特的小东西。他拧下螺丝，拆掉零件，之后就上床睡觉了。
第二天早上，这对新人被旅馆的工作人员的敲门声惊醒。工作人员问他们晚上睡得怎么样。
“很好啊，”新郎回答到，“为什么你要问这个问题呢？”
“这太奇怪了，”工作 人员说道，“昨天夜里，你们楼下那对夫妇被枝型吊灯砸了。”
Honeymooners
A pair of honeymooners checked into the Watergate Hotel in Washington； D。 C。 That night； as the husband was about to turn off the light； his bride asked； “Do you think this room is bugged？”
“That was a long time ago； sweet…heart；” he reassured her。
“But what if there’s a microphone somewhere？ I’d be so embarrassed。”
So the groom searched under the tables and behind the pictures。 Then he turned back the rug。 Sure enoush； there was a funny…looking gizmo in the floor。 He took out the screws； got rid of the hardware； and climbed into bed。
The next morning the newly weds were awakened by a hotel clerk who wanted to know if they had slept well。
花样年华 第三章（2）
“We did；” replied the groom。 “Why do you ask？”
“It’s rather unusual。” The clerk answered； “Last night the couple in the room below yours had a chandelier fall on them。”
没什么
曾经有一个英国人半夜从房间里出来，来到旅店的走廊上，向旅店的服务员要了一杯水。服务员拿来了水，英国人就回到了房间，可几分钟之后他又走了出来，向服务员又要了一杯水。服务员又拿了一杯。英国人每隔几分钟就走出房间，不断地要水。半个小时之后，这位惊讶不已的服务员打算问问房客要水做什么，英国人泰然自若地回答：“没什么，只不过是我的房间里起火了。”
Nothing
Once； late at night； an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water。 The servant did as he was asked。 The Englishman re…entered his room； but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water。 The servant brought him another glass of water。 Every few minutes the Englishman would e out of his room and repeat his request。 After a half…hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water。 “Nothing；” the Englishman answered imperturbably；“It’s simply that my room is on fire。”
不能让他跑了
一只雄蟹遇到了一只雌蟹，便向她求婚。雌蟹发现他是直着走路，而不是横着走。她心想，这只雄蟹真是与众不同，我可不能让他跑了。于是他们很快就结婚了。
第二天，雌蟹发现她的新郎走起路来和普通螃蟹一样。她便疑惑重重。“你怎么了？”她问，“我们结婚之前你可是直着走路的。”
“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多啊。”
I Can’t Let Him Get away
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him。 She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways。 Wow； she thought； this crab is really special。 I can’t let him get away。 So they got married immediately。
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs； and got upset。 “What happened？” she asked。“You used to walk straight before we were married。”
“Oh； honey；” he replied； “I can’t drink that much every day。”
承包商
三个建筑承包商去世以后进入了天堂—— 一个黑人，一个犹太人，还有一个意大利人。当他们到达天堂后，圣彼得热情地招待了他们，并问他们能否在进入天堂之前帮他一个忙：天堂之门需要修理，因此想让他们做一下预算。
黑人承包商仔细查看了这项工作，估计要花费600美圆。当被问及他是怎样计算出这个数字的时候，他说道：“200美圆的材料，200美圆的劳务费，200美圆的利润。”
圣彼得又问犹太承包商的估价，在经过了一番仔细的勘察后，犹太人说道：“需要